STAYING IN CONTROL

Program 7  

“NO CONTROL, NO LIFE”  

The Bottom Line 

Many older adults are unable to make decisions on their own, and do not have a family member or friend who can be their guardian, representative, or substitute decision maker. These individuals are often called “Elder Orphans”. 

Because of the lack of data on “Elder Orphans” it raises many questions about the unmet care needs of this vulnerable population. These individuals need a public guardian. A public guardian is a case manager whose job is to make legal and personal decisions on behalf of these “Elder Orphans”.  

It’s all about the memories! If someone could grant your loved one a wish, what do you think they wish for? Seeing their first love again? Knowing that their personal treasures will be loved and cared for? Not being a financial burden on their family? Making peace with their Maker? Dying pain-free? Well this program can help you, while helping your loved one fulfill their wishes. 

1) Keeping in Touch 

 Old Friends are Memories 

Sadly, the years go by quickly and it gets harder and harder to keep old friendships. Friends move away, go into retirement or long-term homes, and of course, some pass away. We will try to help you and your loved one to renew old friendships, and start new ones. 

• Help organize monthly get togethers for both old and new friends 
• Include as many of your elder’s friends when you plan an outing 
•  Always contact every friend to invite them to all special occasions 

“Click here for Professional Help and support” 

Making New Friends 

If your loved one says why should I make new friends when they will get sick and die, just like my old friends have done. You’ll need to talk to Mom about dealing with grief. The list below will help you convince your loved one they need all the friends they can get. 

• A friend will help them reminisce about the good old times 
• A friend will put the fun back in their life 

• A friend will remind Dad about the good times with friends when they were young 
• A friend helps Mom to think about others and forget about themselves for a while 
• A new friend provides opportunities to try new things in life 
• A friend can help an elder cope with day to day problems 

You need to get your loved one out of the house so they can meet and make new friends. Senior citizen groups at their church, volunteer organizations, adult education classes, senior centers, and adult daycare centers. 

 “Click here for Professional Help and support” 

2) Staying at the Helm 

Seniors Need A Sense of Control 

Never force your loved one to go to a long-term home. You’re just asking for a whole lot of grief for both you and them. If there are only a few concerns then let your Dad stay the “Captain of his ship”.  

Here are some suggestions to help you, help them make their own choices. 

• Don’t take over your elder’s responsibilities because it’s convenient or efficient 
• Just because your loved one can’t make big major decisions, they can still make important decisions that matter to them 
• Show them the importance of using assistive devices 
• Allow your loved one to govern (control) his or her own life 

Have a talk with your loved one about estate planning. Do they know about wills, do they have a filing system for important papers, power of attorney, living will, and “Do Not Resuscitate Order”? 

“Click here for Professional Help and support” 

3) No Bill Collectors Aloud 

Paying The Bills 

The bills have to be payed and the bill collectors won’t wait around until you and your loved one to work things out.  

• You need to figure out your loved one’s assets and debts and locate all of their important papers. 
• Keep all family members aware of all income and expense decisions. 
• Try to pay all recurring bills electronically. 

 “Click here for Professional Help and support” 

4) Keeping the Faith 

 Church At Home 

 When your elder can’t go to church, temple, or mosque, here are some ways to bring these houses of worship home. 

• Ask the house of worship for a home visit 
• Find someone to read your loved one religious’ tracts 

• Most Pastors, Rabbis, and Spiritual Leaders will record a personal message for your elder 
• Play your loved one’s special religious music 

Getting Back to Religious Roots  

• Buy Mom religious books 
• Watch and listen to preachers on TV and Radio 

• Give them religious gifts for special occasions 
• Continue to give donations to their favorite charity 

“Click here for Professional Help and support” 

WITH RESPECT 

THE SOSOPWORLD TEAM